March.

March: from Latin ‘Martius’ meaning (month of) Mars - named for the God of War.

          Today I went through to Dalmuir again for my pre-assessment. Four hours sleep, starbucks and a ninety minute train ride. Eventually got to the hospital, through the wind and rain, and was seen almost right away. Was asked some questions - Medications, etc - and then I waited again. Then I was weighed and measured before I was asked to do the MRSA swabs. The nurse, Marian, said to me "This just goes up your nose." So what did I do? Open my mouth. You know I have definitely been watching too much TV when I try to give a DNA sample like I'm being accused of murder.

          After that I was taken into a room to talk to Mary, who is the lovely nurse that did my pre-assessment for the trans-catheter that was attempted in November. Mary and I were talking about my writing before Marian came back and then the three of us talked about my wait to get published, Mary's husband, Mary's friends, my books, Marian's name, a possible plot for another book about two nurses who murder unruly patients... I wasn't scared, I swear... And then I had an ECG before I left. Mary and Marian came out to talk to me and my Mum about the gist of what's going on and directed us to the X-ray department when I had a chest X-ray and that was me done.

          We then got the ninety minute train back and went for tea. I thought it a little strange that I didn't have an appointment to see Dr Walker or Elaine but I'm assuming that will see them on the day that I am admitted. So, assuming the tests are fine, I will be admitted to the hospital ward on the 17th, have the operation on the 18th and then recover for however long it takes. I have an appointment tomorrow at a clinic in Leith but no one at the GJH seems to know why so that'll be fun. 

          On another topic, since all I seem to talk about is this operation, still writing these fic stories and it seems to have worked. I am writing from head to laptop with only notes on paper so that's definitely good progress considering my two books were written out by hand and then typed up. I want to avoid that in future because it's like doing double the work.

          I forgot to say that my auntie Jackie had a fundraiser for the BHF in February and she raised about £500 (sorry, I don't know the exact figure) by inviting people she knew to her house for a buffet and drinks, she also sold jewellery and my cousin's boyfriend topped off the night by playing his guitar and singing for us. He's really good by the way, have a neb at his band's website here.

          Because of the success of that night, we have decided to hold another fundraiser, it is a private ticket-only event in July, something to focus on, but if you want to donate you can do! You can go to the BHF website or you can visit the website that my sister has set up - here.

          I wrote at the top that March was named for the God of War, Mars. The reason for this was because March was when soldiers began their year (no fighting during the winter) and I thought that it was apt. As much as everything will be fine and I'll look back in a year and laugh the next part is very much a fight. 

Me and my heart fighting for the next ten years. 

Bring it on.